History Matters Friday, May 26, 2023
“The tale of two testicles - part II”
Tales of Testicles Enhanced
Of course, with any tale, especially one about testicles—the beginning and the end of the story should form a pair. Part one was the story of the eunuch. Part two is the story of “enhancement”.
Enhancement begins where eunuchs left off (sorry, it is just too tempting to use the double entendre). In the royal courts of Egypt in the late 1800’s, there were still many eunuchs. And there was a French doctor, Serge Voronoff, who worked at the court and treated the court eunuchs who had various diseases. Voronoff hypothesized that the eunuchs were less healthy than non-eunuchs due to less testosterone. And conversely, if a person was given more testosterone they would more healthy and live longer.
The First Testicular Transplant
In 1899, Doctor Brown-Sequard, injected ground up dog testicles and guinea pig testicles intravenously, but produced no positive results. Dr. Voronoff (1866-1951) surmised that transplanted testicles would be more successful than injecting testicular extract. Voronoff first transplanted young ram testicles into old rams and found that their wool got thicker (think ram Rogaine) and their sexual vigor increased (think ram Viagra).
Next, Voronoff transplanted monkey testicle into aging male humans. With no scientific proof, he claimed success based upon anecdotal testimonials. He became wildly popular as men heard they could have, “more energy” and “sexual stamina” (think Frank Thomas). Voronoff’s had millionaire’s lining up and he began transplanting the testicles of executed criminals. The demand was so high, he ran out of executed criminals. From 1917-1926, more than 500 transplants were done using sheep and goat testicles. Then, he developed a large monkey farm to harvest monkey testicles for transplant. In 1923, he went before the International College of Surgeons where he received applause from the assembly still based solely upon testimonial evidence. Ultimately, his testicular transplants were exposed for their lack of scientific merit, and he was “castigated” by the medical community though he maintained a popular cult following (think Dr. Oz).
Testicular Transplants in the US
Voronoff set the stage for a “doctor “to do the same in the US. And here we go to the Heartland for hormones. In the small town of Milford, Kansas, there was a Swift meat-packing plant where John Brinkley had grown up observing the pens of goats copulating up until the time of their slaughter. Brinkley had set up a medical private practice in Milford though he did not have a legitimate degree.
John Brinkley had for years done a traveling medical road show selling echinacea called “snake oil” which later became a pejorative term. He decided to go to Bennet Medical College in Chicago but never graduated. He then found an “Eclectic Medical University” in Kansas City, Missouri which was a diploma mill from which he bought a diploma for $500 and called himself a “doctor”. “Eclectic” medical colleges were still scattered throughout the US in 1917 and were the remnants of popular alternative medicine and chiropractic therapies, before Abraham Flexnor’s report of 1901 calling for medical education to be grounded in the scientific method. Brinkley was more marketing than medicine as he injected people with colored distilled water as a “placebo” for many ailments at $25 a shot.
As the story goes, a old farmer named Stittsworth came to his office one day complaining of a sagging libido; and “Doc Brinkley” half-jokingly replied, “You need goat glands.” And the old farmer replied, “So Doc, put them in.” So, Brinkley surgically put a bit of goat testicle and “grafted” it onto the farmer’s testicle. The farmer believed his libido was back; his wife got pregnant; and they named their child “Billy” (seriously).
Brinkley had erected a hidden financial jewel. At $750 per transplant, he could not keep up with demand. He sported a “goatee” and advertised that the procedure was more effective on intelligent males (so if you reported failure, it became an admission of your own stupidity!). Brinkley like so many charlatans could not contain his hyperbole (think certain politicians). His procedure not only made men more youthful and virile; it cured influenza, high blood pressure, acne, and even insanity (which would have qualified all of his patients who were crazy enough to go to him). For $5,000, he would transplant a genuine human testicle from a prisoner on death row. And like all whack-a-doodles, he went to LA. There he performed a testicular transplant on the owner of the LA Times newspaper, Harry Chandler. Chandler was so enamored with the results that he regularly offered free advertising in the paper to “Doctor” Brinkley. Brinkley set up a “kick-back” scheme with pharmacists to continue his colored water injections. He started a radio station in 1923, KFKB, which in addition to playing music, offered lectures on politics, as well as a “medical question box.” Brinkley was the medical expert who had “an answer to all your medical questions.” (think “The Doctors”). This was the first medical advice radio show in history broadcasting with an impressive 1,000 watts.
Brinkley became immensely wealthy. He had mansions, fleets of cedillas, airplanes, yachts—a Joel Olsteen of the gentleman gonad. But not everything came up roses. During one stretch, he had run out of the more common Toggenberg goat used for the testicular transplant and substituted the angora goat. Many recipient men could not shake the stench of their own loins, smelling like a steamy barn in a Kansas July.
But the nemesis of John Brinkley was Dr. Morris Fishbein, the editor of the Journal of the American Medical Society (JAMA). Dr. Fishbein called Brinkley out in an editorial calling him “a smooth-tongued charlatan” and “urged authorities to revoke his right to practice.” Finally, the Kansas Board of Medicine and the Healing Arts revoked Brinkley’s barely legitimate license on the grounds of unprofessional conduct and shut down the KFKB radio station on grounds of fraud.
This did not stop Brinkley. He hired out bona fide physicians willing to run his clinics and purchased a radio station in Mexico (XERA) with enough wattage to beam to the US. He decided the only way to get his license back was to change Kansas law. So he ran for Kansas Governor with a massively popular write-in campaign. After performing over 16,000 goat testicle operations, he appeared to have the white male Kansas vote (think of a lot of Kansas elections). He promised to build free clinics and cure virtually all diseases. He became popularly known as the “Milford messiah”. In 1930, he narrowly lost the election for Kansas State Governor.
A “blood clot” developed in his leg that resulted in its amputation which confined him to bed. Here he had a vision to study for the ministry and became a big-time preacher (keep thinking of Joel Osteen). He never made it that far, and never found forgiveness for Dr. Morris Fishbein. John Brinkley’s dying words were reported to be “If Dr. Fishbein goes to heaven, I want to go the other way.” (I am sure Brinkley got his way; he usually did).