Communication Matters October 18, 2023
Taking a moment in death
I recently came across this and I was immediately attracted to doing this. While I have done something like this sporadically, I love the idea of doing this as a routine. While this may sound awkward or even psychologically phony—as I am writing this; earlier this evening I did this after coding a 77 year old man in front of his wife of 48 years. I can not tell you how right this felt, and how moved his wife and the staff were by this simple gesture.
After calling the code and turning off the monitors, I pronounced the time of death. I brought the wife to the head of the bed. I introduced the wife by name and spoke the name of the man outloud. I thanked the staff for their hard work in trying to save his life. I made an announcement of how sorry we were for her loss. I then asked for a moment of silence in honor of _______ (called him by name). After about 30 seconds, I asked his wife to tell us a story about the man who was before us. She said, “He was the smartest man you will ever meet. He was an English professor at WSU (a local college) for 40 years. And they had been married for 48 years and were wanting to make it to their 50th wedding anniversary….”
This extra 2 minutes completely changed this experience for all of us by humanizing the “code” we had just performed. By introducing the family by name, and the deceased by name—by taking a moment of silence to honor his life—and by asking for a story that con-nects his past with the final moment— It changed all of us. For the patient who comes in with no family; we can speak on behalf of the family reminding all of us that this was some-one’s son or daughter, that he/she lived for x number of years and that we want to pay honor to this life.
Emrap.org—reuben strayer md feb 2018(18) 2: p. 3