Depression and suicidal ideation look different for everyone. For me, it looked like a loss of self- worth. In eleventh grade, I unknowingly developed Major Depressive Disorder. By the end of the year, I became suicidal. Looking back, I had spent two years being suicidal and more than five years struggling with my mental health. And yet, here I stand at KansasCOM as a DO medical student candidate, like I had always dreamed. This showed me that no matter how hard life seems, I could walk each step on the path, even if it was only one step at a time.

In life, it's fairly easy to overanalyze and over-personalize what happens. But at the end of it all, no one truly exists alone and, at the same time, our own existence is the most important. We act as if we have to have this life figured out perfectly, reaching all the goals we set for ourselves with no room for error or wasted time. Now that I am older, I have learned a few lessons from these experiences:

1. You are a human being, not a human doing. Your existence in itself is enough, regardless of how vocal, quiet, outgoing, or introverted you are.

2. Do not over-personalize what happens to you or around you; your worth is not dependent on how people see you.

3. Do not be hard on yourself. The universe, planets' orbits, and the world are all round; how can your life be linear? You are more dynamic than that. If you feel like you can't move forward, then it's okay to pause or take a step back. Breathe. Recollect. Don't look too far ahead. Just take the next step.

4. Even if it's hard, know that it's enough to even just be curious about what's next. Something that helped me put life into perspective was COVID: no amount of planning could have prepared me for the pandemic. So remind yourself, when you feel lost, that you are not a very good fortune teller. Each day is a step forward, regardless of how you feel. Act with your values and, on the days that it is easy, appreciate it and be happy. On the days that it is hard, just take deep breaths and wait for tomorrow.

And reach out. It's easy to walk alone, to want to hide yourself behind a perfect mask. But humans are social creatures. So find someone, literally anyone, if you need to talk. Because maybe if we talked about it more, it would hurt a little less.